A Cokewhore and Potential Mistress

I woke up and realised that its already aftrnoon. Im still shagged over yesterday's clubbing at St James. Anyway yesterday was ASUMMMMMZ with a capital A and helluva ride! Hahhaha.I met Lizah and her brother's friends at River Island Vivo. Becuase they were extremly late, we were not eligible for Power House due full-house. So we had to settle for Movida instead. Before i begin, there were 7 of us. 3 girls and 4 guys.

I swear the guys camwhored more then the ladies.

So like mentioned, we were stranded in Movida before we can actually make our way through to Power House. Ni la, lelaki lelaki ni semue lambat giler kalakan pompuan.

The climax of yesterday happened when we were already in Power House. It was hell pack. Like very very pack. There were so many mats around. The last time i saw a sea of mats were back in DXO. but i guess that night, St james beats the record. In power house, Hasbi went missing. Don't know where he go la. Lizah, Qamarul, Najib and Me managed to find a space in the dance floor. And i must say the songs were greatttttt. Oh i didnt mention this ealrier, Zakariah had to go off cause her tunang was waiting for her outside. So it was down to 2 girls.

So we were in the midst of dancing. Lizah was dancing with Najib and i was dancing with Qamarul when something strange happend. I was in the midst of dancing when i realised my moves were being restricted like totally. Soon i realised the back of my dress got caught with Qamarul's flyer(is that how it's spelt) in other words, the lace of my dress got tangled into his jeans. It just won't get loose. HAHAHHA. Don't ask me how the grinding can become like that. For a good 5 minutes i was trying to fix the problem. Both of us were mending it in the middle of the dance floor.

Lizah: Ape korang due due nga buat ni?
Me: Huh? Ni ar dress aku tersangkot pat die.
Qamarul: HAHAHA..

It looks like i'm fondling with his crotch. Like what the fuck. Cause i was dancing in a way that my back is facing him/his front facing my back(whichever la), therefore it was harder for me to get it untangled. Such weird incident. My entire life, when i grind/dance/whatever never ever my dress got caught with someone else pants. Hahaha. We had a good laugh on the dance floor. Hahaha. and guess what, it tore!! That dress was friggin' new! It was the first time i wore that dress. Hiaz. Such an experience.

So, after club, we went for supper at Bukit Timah. was it? Fucking far la. Macam tkde tempat lain nk makan gitu. HAHAHA. And by this time everyone looked damn shagged as if we just rewang 10 majilis orang kahwin gitu. Till then, toodles.

It's currently march. Infact it's gonna be april real soon. And i had no time to meet my BFF during my birthday which was on february, yang touching nye dorang simpan birthday present aku sampai berhabok. Thank you so much Khairiyah Abdul Aziz and Anisah Sudarman. So we finnaly got the time to meet up, whereby everyone is free for good. So Anisah made a booking at Carousel for our Hight-Tea. And i must say food was goooood!! I usually settle for the dinner at Carousel but High Tea was exceptionally good as well :))

So i met up with Khairiyah at 2pm, and we wondered around FarEast while waiting for Anisah, the pre-school teacher to finish work. So i told Khai to make full use of her 6 megapixel camera fone. Haahhaha. Well, my camera battery was flat. I only realise when im in the bus making my way to town. Aku tau aku kental.buat berat je.

So Anisah finally turned up! And we eat eat eat!

Incase you don't know, im very much allergic to peanuts. Worse come to worse, my face will itch and breakouts will apprear. But the other day my upper lip start to swell. (i ate muah-chee) I swear i start panicking! Khairiyah was half panicked but that Anisah started laughing. Pantat. I swear it was the ugliest sight. But after much rinse at the toilet, it sort of died down. THANK GAWDDDD. I was already planning to take MC cause i don't wana go to work with an angelina jolie lips yang tak menjadi ekh. On another note, so they surprised me with my birthday presents!! It was like so many presents and a verry very pretty card!! And the best thing, the presents are very heavy. I had to carry them all by myself cause they insist not to help.

Movinggg onn, we karaoked after that. Okay im preety virgin to Karoake. Well, i dont sing often, cause i cant sing for nuts. But impressively Khai knows alottt about Karoake. Tak padan seyyy.

Okay i know, likesaid i always look drunk. Hahaha.

So, let me end my entry on a good note. I would like to thank Khai and Anisah for all the effort, for remembering me and being with me for 8 years. For supporting me for whatever i do and also believing in me. I love you and i will cherish this friendship forever :) May god bless us always.

Now, i got ngaji. Bye.

Back from Denpasar; Bali.

3 friends, one destination. L to R : Hanifah, Rohaida and Nur Fatin.

Likesaid; Very Tanned and Tired. I swear i was like tanned giler la. And i'm friggin lazy to collage the pictures. I'll promise to do it when i have the time.

"I think part of the reason why we hold on to something so tight, for so long, is because we fear something so great will never happen again." - unknown

but then again, i must hope and have faith in future.

Current mood:

Lonely

Currently listening: Dead and Gone-T.I

I've discovered my weakness now. Words cannot really described whatever i'm feeling though. All i need is a man to be by my side, to be with me for every step i take. My saving grace. Someone who can be my everything and more. Not just a man that's label-ed "boyfriend" for nothing. As for now, i do feel contented but at times this can be pressurising.I think i'm quite affected when i randomly blog hop and my friends host entries about their boyfriends,how long they have been together,how madly deeply in love they are. Well, i'm not complaining, that's selfish. Its really hard to pretend as if everything's okay. I told myself a million times to not give a fuck, but i cant. I always tell myself, there's always a better one. But now, i'm doubting myself even.I hate it when i'm skeptical. I'm missing out in love. I need someone to hear me.

Dear God, please make everything easier for me. This is tough.
I want to know my fate.

NUMB.

ARMY GUYS AND THIER STORIES

So the day before i left for Bali i meet up with Fauzi cause he wanted me to accomany him to this Career Fair at Suntec. The last time i met Fauzi was during the fasting month. (that was like mid-last year la) Okay, that picture above is not Fauzi, that's Fauzi's bestfriend; Kamal. Hahahah. Cause apparently, this mat-rep deided to meet us at Suntec as well. So, this mat-rep and fauzi decided that they should spend some time with me before i make my way to Bali. Hahaha. Like Eddy said; "Ala, pegi 4 hari macam 4 Bulan." Hahaha.

So, after the Career Fair, we spent the next 4 hours at Mac Donald and another friend decide to join us. Erm.. i forgot his name, they call him An, so i assume his name should be Raihan. Its okay to be the only female but the big problem is, for the many hours i sit at Mc Donald, i had to listen to army stories and medic stories! I feel like taking the Mc Donald plasctic fork and stab myself. hahaha. So i sat cross legged took my coke and listen to 3 guys talking about thier cant-be-help-miserable-ns-life. hahah. You know, what's surprising, i think they gossip more than girls la. Hahaha.

What i learnt and derieve after 4 hours,

x Drivers in army are step-sachok people and they are sickiest men around.(because they aeren't drivers, so they claim others kental.)

x They like to go naked. (I won't go into detail its like so disgusting)

x Short form of seargent is- Gent.

x Foot-rot is common.

x There's such a thing called duty, outfield and audit. And they don't seem to like it if any of these is taking place. Cause they will complain like this " ala, aku ade outfield/duty/audit" ( i cant differentiate.)

x Medics are like nurses and doctors. (except they are paid lesser)

x Fauzi had to literally tell me how they take temperature via, the you-know-where. (eeeww!)

x They spent alot of thier time in the jungle.

x I thought i was the only one who was afraid of the non-existance, they were just the same.

x If they are afraid, they will sleep together on the same bed. (hahaha.)

I think if i happen to spent another day with them, i'll go crazy. Anyway, thanks to Fauzi, who finally realised i was at the verge of stabbing myself make the other 2 men to stop yakking bout their army life. Anyway, because Fauzi had his audit going on, he can't send me to the airport.

Fauzi:" I'm sorry i cant send you, i ade audit."

Kamal: "Da la kau kental, kalau aku, aku da anta. and aku memang nak anta die"

Fauzi:" Kau jagan mamcam faham. Kau world banyak."

Hahaha, most of the time, Fauzi and Kamal ended up in unnecessary arguments like this. But i must say i'm impressed with Kamal cause he actually overnight at my house the night before and help me do my packing and sent me off the next morning. Touching kan. Anyaway, my bali pictures won't be up that soon cause i've got work to settle. Till then toodles.

There are a few ways that men can up their level of hotness and sex appeal, according to what I would like to think-

1. Putting on a nicely-fitted long sleeve shirt.(I swear its hell captivating). i just have a thing for guys who wears shirt; long-sleeved ones especially. -melts instantaneously.
2. I love men with an over-powering smell of their perfume PLUS a dimunitive smell of ciggarette.(the smell is fucking hawt la. Like those you get in clubs.) So man-ly.
3. I hate man with bling bling. Gold is a straight turn-off.
4. I prefer piercing to tatoos. (But not excessively.)
5. I'll stick with tall and lean. Most importantly- the right size and height.

Okay, i'm happy about yesterday. It didnt rain during the night. AWSSSUMZ. Yesterday night was Timber night with my lovely batch mates. The girls night out was rather impromtu i must say. Winnie managed to come out with the plan at -4hours to our reporting time. Apprently, Winnie and Sharinaz reached first while me and Lizah were still sleeping and only woke up at 9:30pm which was the supposed time to meet at city hall. Funny how, Sharinaz texted us a 4 page long on how to get to the place. It was so confusing. My blisters started to multiply as i walked. For the record, ive never been lost in town before hor.

Visuals.

First picture from left to right: Me, Winnie, Sharinaz and Lizah

Hello officers! :)))

Me and Lizah.

Its insane that we actually took like exactly 1 hour 30 mins to reach this place. We got no sense of direction la, at about 12:00am sharp, we ended up infront of Supper Club Mc Donald when someone shouted my name damn loud la. Terkejot sey HAHAHA. Guess who shouted?!( I think this question is more relevant for Aida since she's the only person whom i can think of that knows him.) It was Hairil la! Like OMG OMG OMG. Da lame giler la tk nampak die. HAHAHA. He look damn different la with little hair now, due to NS. hahaha. The last time, he stil had his blonde highlights. hahahah. Skarang da all black sey. Oh, if you want me to give an explanatory write-up about Hairil, i can bet with my toes it won't end. But to sum everything, we had a thing going on, like 2 or 3 years ago. Was it? Hhahah. He's hell fine la. Oh it reminds me how sexcited/excited we were back then. Aida if you get what i mean. hahah.

I actually, rake up my old pictures, to finally mange to get hold of this picture.

I think this was taken time-time second year poly like that. Don't ask me where we're from.

Movingg on, so he shouted my name from across the street la. Then we catch up for awhile kesian pulak si kakak lizah kene tunggu aku bebual ngan si Hairil. Anyway He actually managed to pull out the area map to show me the way to get to my final destination. Thanks ar. It was productive cause we finally made it. And that was where i met up with Sharinaz and Winnie. The gathering was plain clean fun. I hate how the girls can go for martinis, and vodkas and i had to settle for pespsi with a lemon cut. Sharinaz was hell idiotic la. She was saying. " HAHAHAHA! Fatinn kau tk minum? Kau kental." She had to say that out so loud la! Incase you don't know, i don't drink for nuts. Seriously :D Friday was love.

In one way or another, i'm trying to avoid having an introduction to my post thus far. Anyway, i think i have found myself in a plateau of emotions recently. So let me tap onto something stimulating for the mind. I've been thinking for a while, the root to why i wanted to pay Bali a visit. I realised that, the last time i told Aida the reason to why i wanted to go away from the reality world, was due to my emotional breakdown when i broke up sometime ago. So i kind-of need a breathe-er. I wanted to spend more time with myself and learn to love myself again. All i wanted was a good time spent with the bestfriend, cause afterall, she knows what it feels like being dumped by "the" boyfriend after building years after years after years of relationship. It sucked alot when you thought everything was perfectly fine and going on smoothly, but eventually that particular someone whom you set your hopes so high, washed his hands off in an instant. It feels like a dagger slit through your heart. I swear it felt worse then that. I hope the next one won't put me in such situation again. Now i doubt if there's ever a next one even.

21 years, being a silent spectator to this life i lead, i come to realise that, i'm weak in alot of aspect. I don't look physically good and smart enough like other girls. For heaven's sake, i don't own a degree qualification even. I'm not virtually good at making friends with guys. I think unlike other girls, i'm abit more conservative in this area. I must say, my girl-clique tend to be better off than me. Like said, i'm a wasted 21 yearold-kid who is nostalgic about her past, negligent on her present and nervous about her future. Come to think of it, i think i fall under the category of introvert and recluse. Sometimes i hate to pen down these jumble thoughts about my self-reflections, but it does makes me feel good in a way, cause i can't seem to express this to anyone else.

But on top of all these negativity, i can comprehend that, Love from a significant other can and it does contribute to that overall happiness and that's what we all want to attain at the end of the day. I feel love everyday from my family, friends and GOD. and for that, I count my blessings. Yes sometimes I feel a little sad but generally I'm doing good. You know if it happens, it happens. I'm gonna do whatever that makes me happy and do it because I want to. Even if the happiness is just for a fleeting moment, that's okay. Life is short. I deserve to be happy and if I don't seize whatever opportunity I have, I might just regret it. True enough.

"Don't get tricked into aksing him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking."-Beth